One of my best friends and I went to the amusement park yesterday. Aside from riding roller coasters and bumper cars and avoiding almost everything that spins because I get motion sick, we spent a majority of our time people watching.
You would not believe the things you see while wandering around an amusement park for eight or nine hours.
Are you ready for the list of top nine things you see when you people watch at an amusement park? Of course you are. Trust me. This is good stuff.
1.) Crop Tops
Crop tops. Crop tops everywhere. When is this fad just going to go away? Most of them have some sort of ridiculous slogan on them like the one above and most of the girls wearing them have no business showing off their stomachs. I am not a skinny girl so I know there is a weight limit on these things. Seriously, you need to be aware of your body size instead of being in denial. Beauty doesn't have a weight limit, but fashion does. Wear something that makes you look flattering, not something that's fashionable and makes you look bad. Just because they make it in your size does NOT mean you should wear it. I also don't need to know what your belly button ring looks like. Put a real shirt on and stop trying to be slutty cute because it's just not. Did I mention most of the crop tops were on 12 and 13 year old girls? I mean really? What are we teaching young girls nowadays? And don't give me that lame excuse that we're teaching them to "love their bodies and not be ashamed to show some skin." You want to say we shouldn't shame girls for dressing provocatively? Maybe you should teach them some respect instead of teaching them it's okay to show everything off.
2.) Teenage Guys in Tank Tops
16-19 year old guys walking around in tank tops to show off their muscles flock to amusement parks. They generally walk around in big groups being incredibly loud and looking at any cute blonde that walks their way. The best is when they wear sunglasses, Adidas flip flops, high socks and snapbacks to go along with the ensemble. You don't look cool dude, you look like a tool. Jersey Shore took this "bro" persona and made it fashionable and I'm so sick of it. I'm sorry but what happened to the nice guys that just wear regular t-shirts and basketball shorts and tennis shoes? You can be cool without being a complete and utter idiot. Guess teenage boys haven't figured that out yet.
3.) Face Paint
Not just face paint on little kids, no, face paint on ADULTS. Like we're not talking college age people, we're talking old enough to be your mother or your grandmother. Maybe I could see if it was a mom or dad of a young kid and they got matching face paint, or a cool aunt or uncle or something. I could see a group of college age kids getting matching spiderman painted masks because college kids make stupid decisions. An adult though? Last I checked Halloween is not in June.
4.) Matching Outfits
Again, this is not just a kids thing. Most elementary school aged girls go to the amusement park with their best friend and they go get matching "Kennywood Outfits." Seriously. That's a thing around here, getting a Kennywood Outfit. But the matching has gotten ridiculous. Kids matching their entire group of friends, giant groups in matching neon green t-shirts, and the worst, THE WORST OF ALL, we saw a girl and a guy about 16 years old and she was wearing a green shirt that said "I'm his" and his said "she's mine." Excuse me while I go barf. How whipped did he have to be to be wearing that?
5.) Giant Donuts
These must have been the easiest prizes to win at the park. Everyone was walking around with giant donuts and they were carrying them in the most awkward ways. My friend and I agreed these people should have just worn the donuts around their waists like inner tubes. They would have been easier to carry.
6.) Public Displays of Affection
I guess it's too hard to stand in line and just talk to your significant other. Apparently when waiting in line for roller coasters the proper protocol is to cuddle, grope each other, noisily make out and giggle about how in love you are. Seriously, do you need to be holding hands every single second or constantly pecking each other on the lips? Like we don't all know you're together. If you're working THAT hard to prove you're with someone, you're probably insecure in your relationship, or you're just in it to show other people HEY LOOK I HAVE A BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND!
7.) Cliques
The amount of middle school and high school clique-y-ness that you see at amusement parks is gross. You can always easily spot the ringleader and it's always a girl surrounded by two slightly less pretty girls and a conglomerate of boys. So much drama, such a small park. You just can't escape it.
8.) People Pushing Strollers With No Kids In Them
If your kid is going to walk around the park anyway WHY ARE YOU HAULING A STROLLER AROUND? You're clogging up traffic, you're in everyone's way. If you're going to have them walk leave the stroller at home and carry them around please. Or park one parent on a bench somewhere with the stroller while you let the kid walk around, but don't push it in everyone's way if your kid isn't even using it.
9.) People Wearing Only Bathing Suits
This is not a water park. This is not a pool. This is not the beach. There are exactly three water rides in the park. If you wear your bathing suit on the rides, please put pants back on when you get off. I'm not saying don't wear your bathing suit under your clothes or don't wear it on the ride. Just dry off and clothe yourself before you go wandering around the park again.
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