Tinder Tips

More people than you would think are on Tinder nowadays.

Maybe you don't know what Tinder is. I surely didn't until a few months ago.

I had seen the name on the Collegefessions Twitter page and didn't think anything of it. I'm not exactly in the loop when it comes to... well, anything that college age kids do. Sad, considering I am a college aged kid.

Anyway, I was in the dark about this "Tinder" business until a friend of mine asked me if I used it. I told him no and I'm pretty sure my exact words were "What's a Tinder?"




He explained it was a dating app, mostly used for hooking up with people in your area. Then he proceeded to brag that he got 15 matches in a week, which must make him "pretty awesome and badass."

His description wasn't enough for me, and I felt the need to check out the app for myself. I was skeptical at first. The app uses your Facebook information as well as location services to create a profile and find people in your area. I'm not one for putting my personal information out on the internet. My Facebook is locked up like the Hope Diamond as is my Instagram and Snapchat. My Twitter is open because, well, it's fun to have hockey teams retweet you!

Anyway, I got the app just to see what it was about. I made my profile. I picked the two most flattering pictures I had on my Facebook to add and then I wrote some ridiculous blurb about myself. Tinder and Facebook took care of the rest.

It is amazing how easy the app is to use. You can either swipe a picture left to reject someone or swipe right to like them. If swiping isn't your style you can hit the red "x" button to reject or the green heart button to like. You can also set your range from anywhere between one mile and 100 miles. Simple as that you can scroll through hundreds of thousands of attractive men and women.

I quickly got drunk on the fact that I could look at pictures of so many cute guys in the area and not get accused of creeping, stalking, or being strange. It's like manhunting at the local church fair on steroids and best of all, you can't get caught. The app is anonymous. If you like someone and they reject you, neither of you know what the other person said. Now, if you both "like" each other you get matched. Then you are able to message each other within the app. It's ridiculously ingenious.

I only got the app to see what it was about. I never intended to start using it regularly. It IS mostly for hookups and I'm not looking for that, nor am I looking for a serious relationship with someone I met "online." But here I was, with a dating app on my phone and a match or two rolling in.

The first match made me feel empowered. I don't have high self-esteem, or any self-esteem for that matter. Guys don't pay attention to me, look at me twice, or hit on me in any way shape or form. I really have come to accept it and I know that I'm not the type of pretty girl that guys are looking for. People can say all they want but first impressions are based on looks. So, to have one guy, any guy really, find me attractive enough to hit the "like" button, made me feel pretty good inside. Especially because it was a guy I had liked first, someone I found attractive too. This was a feat I was sure would never be accomplished.

After that first like.... All I wanted to do was get more than 15 likes in a week, but I wanted to be smart about it. I wasn't just going to hit like for every guy that crossed my path. I had to think he was attractive and share some sort of interest with him.

I didn't hit "like" very many times within my first week of using Tinder. I'd say I probably only liked between 50-100 guys, which is a relatively low number in 7 days, considering if you sit there for twenty minutes you could easily blow through that many guys.

In the end, I had 45 likes in a week. The argument, if I would have went back to my friend with my numbers, would have been "you're a girl and it's way easier for girls to get likes because guys will like anything if they think it'll lead to a hookup."

That logic may be true, but considering only one guy out of my original 45 ever messaged me, and all he said was "heyy" and I didn't respond... well, it leads me to believe that if they wanted to actually hook up, they would have said something.

Fast forward almost two months and I have 119 matches right now. Crossing the 100 mark felt great to a girl with no self-esteem. It didn't help much in the real world though. I still avoid eye contact, and really going out in general. It's so much easier when you're behind a screen.

That's not the point though. The point is, over the past two months of being a Tinder user, I've learned some valuable skills about using the app. Granted, these tips and skills may only work for me. I use this app as a confidence booster. I also use it just to talk to guys and make some new friends. I'm not there for a hookup or a relationship. If that's what you intend to get out of this app, my tips are going to be no help to you, but feel free to read on if you're bored or curious.

Tinder Tips

1.) Not Everyone is Using it to Hook Up

Seriously, some people are just there to talk. I know I am. Even some guys are there for that reason too. I've had pretty fun conversations with a few guys and one particularly great one that has lasted over a few weeks. I'd like to think he and I have become friends and the best part is there has been no pressure to trade real-life information like cell phone numbers a twitter names. We're both content with just talking about school, work, movies, music, TV, and random life things without making some big official deal out of it.

2.) Liking People You Know In Real Life Can Be Good Or Bad

I've liked a few people I already know on Tinder. One was my cousin's friend from high school, one was a kid I went to grade school with, and three were guys I graduated high school with. Funny enough, I matched with all of them. The one kid I did actually like a little in high school, but the other ones were purely, "Aw, it's... whoever" and I got along with them or thought they were nice and I liked them. Tinder even put me back in touch for the first time in years with the kid from grade school and we're planning on going to lunch to catch up once he's done with finals. Liking people you know can be a really cool thing, but if you know them and you don't like them in real life, even if they're attractive, don't hit the like button just because you know them. If they like you back, then you're doomed at making some sort of small talk with someone you don't even like in the first place.

3.) Some People Are Only Cute Until They Open Their Mouths

I think when I use the app at night sometimes I get a little loopy. I like guys that are semi-cute and share only one interest. They're usually the ones I end up matched with in the morning and I go back and look and think, "huh, why did I like them?"  For the most part, it doesn't matter. We usually never message and they're just another number. Unfortunately, sometimes you get a chatty one and they message. I always try to answer, it's polite. The cute ones and semi-cute ones lose their cuteness fast when their grammar is atrocious and they don't like to answer your questions. This one kid was kinda cute, he messaged me and I answered. He was a year younger than me so I decided to get the question ball rolling and I asked him what kind of stuff he was in to. His answer: I like everything. First off, no one likes EVERYTHING. Second, at least TRY to come up with a specific answer instead of being so general. That gives me nothing to work with. He had bad grammar and he was never able to give a decent answer.... yet he kept messaging me. I wish I wouldn't have hit like. He was a nice kid, but a tad bit annoying.

4.) It's Okay to Block People

Tinder DOES have a block feature. If someone is harassing you, it's perfectly okay to block them. Once you block someone, they can't contact you anymore and you can't contact them anymore. Sometimes, you don't even have to block someone for harassment. I got a message from one guy who started smack talking my hockey team. That's something I'm used to in real life, that happens when you're a female fan. This guy took it way too far though, he told me I didn't know anything about the sport, my team sucked, I was incompetent and it wasn't even because I was a girl, it was because everyone from my town was stupid. That's when I hit my limit and I blocked him. You can go shove it if you seriously want to badmouth not just me, but my favorite team and my entire city.

5.) Know How to Spot the Jerks Ahead of Time

There are a few simple things that are deal breakers for me when I'm scrolling through pictures. Anybody with a middle finger up is an automatic no-no. He was either too drunk to realize he flicked off a camera or he didn't care that he was being photographed making an obscene gesture. That pretty much equals no respect.

If he's got alcohol with him in every single picture, that's probably also a pretty big red flag. It's one thing to have a group picture from a party where he's holding a red solo cup interspersed with a random selfie, a picture with his dad, and one of him and his dog. But if he's got a beer in his hand in every single picture, and worse, all of them look like they were taken in some frat house basement or skeevy setting... pass on that one

If he doesn't have any description at all, or only one picture... He didn't put any effort into his profile, he just wants a hook up and he wants it quick.

No dude should have more than one mirror selfie on his profile. If that's the only type of picture you take, especially if you're flexing in any of them, you're not worth much time. You care more about your appearance than anything and you're showcasing that. 

If his first picture (or any of them really) show him and another girl, probably a bad bet. True, guys can have girl friends that aren't girlfriends, but this is a dating app. Don't have pictures of you and your ex as the pictures that you want to draw in a new girl with. Even worse if the girl in the picture is your girlfriend and you're still using Tinder.

Anybody smoking ciggs, weed, or hookah gets the red "x" from me. Smoking is a personal preference, and if you like that, well obviously don't count them out. I personally don't smoke, I don't like the smell of it. I don't support recreational weed usage either, nor do I think you should smoke hookah (even if it's just water vapor) because smoking anything is going to get at your lungs eventually. I don't find blowing smoke rings out your nose attractive so I pass on those.

Other than those tips, If I find a guy attractive I usually hit the like button because, what have I got to lose? Either we match and maybe chat or he goes "Ew ugly girl" hit's pass and I never know.

Those are just some of my tips for smart Tindering. Like I said, they may only work for me, but you never know unless you try!